38%

Thirty eight percent.

That is the percentage of my English I (a freshman class) students who are failing.

Some of these are actually not freshmen, but sophomores and juniors who are on their second or third run-through of English I. Some are not.

While I recognize that this is - in part - a reflection on me as a teacher, I can honestly say I've done everything I can to get most of these students to pass.

This group of students is the most apathetic I've seen ever in my life. They truly have no concept of or regard for the future, and how what they're doing right now will affect their lives going forward.

Most of these students are not on the cusp of passing, either. One of these students has a 2% in my class... most of these failing students' percentage in my class is below 50%, quite a few below 10%.

This is entirely unprecedented for me, and absolutely abhorrent.

I tell students constantly that I arrive to school - at the latest - 30 minutes before school starts. Furthermore, we all have a shared study hall for 30 minutes each day, and I'm available after school by appointment. I have individually checked in with each of these students, offered help, asked what they need, offered extensions, modifications when necessary, talked with parents, talked with guidance, talked with administrators.

I literally do not know what to do.

It's hard, in times like these, to feel like my job is entirely worthless and unmeaningful.

But then I tell myself that there are two grades you have to work really hard to earn: an A, and an F.

Willful ignorance: Hopefully it leads to a lifetime of a bliss. I wouldn't know.